Dancing, or how I nearly died tonight

On my walk back from my after classes activities to my car (parked in the FIRST GODDAMN SPACE [and this would be the introduction of the chorus to tell of my impending lesson in hubris]), through a terrifying fog I came to an interesting realization that I am comfortable enough to share with you.

But first the story of how I nearly died on this night.

Yea, its more interesting than introspection. Firstly it was a dark and foggy night. FOGGY, don't auto-fill in stormy. That aside, really, the fog was palpable, it was terrifying. It muffled the sound of all walking. Cars were reduced to nothing more than small points of light, even from a mere 10 feet away, or so. This was what it was like the whole, not un-substantial walk back to my car to go home, and well it scared the begeebees out of me. Really. And I'm a guy, a really attractive, charming, awe inspiring guy. I started singing to myself, and that help for a while, but I had to stop once I reached a more populated area, because I didn't want to seem crazy, or what ever. So in silence I walked most of the way back. All was fine and dandy for a while till I had to cross the inlet for a parking lot. Okay, doesn't sound bad.

WRONG.

There was a car waiting there. Headlights on. Just sitting.
I'm a rational person, so I keep walking, thinking to myself "Hey, hes probably just waiting for someone, I'll walk in front of this parked car, and come out alive on the other side,: and that was a good thought, for the time being. But without any further information, I proceeded with my plan.

I walked in front of the car.

Bid mistake. The instant that I started into the crosswalk, because yeah, I use those, IT STARTED MOVED TOWARDS ME!!!! I nearly died. Images of the anger of Christine flashed through my mind, and my life flashed before my eyes. Luckily I ran, and the fog was enough to obscure me from its villainous sight. And that is how I nearly died on this very night.

Now for my interesting realization, that might be a little controversial. So I don't like learning a dance with my friends. Yup, said it. Its really awkward, but yup. I was at swing today, and realized that my ineptitude was due not in fact by an physical inability to complete a simple task, but by a blinding, and immobilizing fear of being judged as I learn something new. I realized this, of course, because half the people there know me from years ago, and I usually go with one of my friends. Now you may think, hey, I learned X dance with you, and yes, yes you did, but I still felt awkward while doing so. This feeling is merely heightened by swing dance, and all the humans there knowing me, and thus, my ineptitude. This bled so far into my thoughts and idologies pertaining to swing dancing, and dancing in general that I began to hate swing for a while in my life. That and there was a person who wasn't the kindest teaching, and it was sort of a mess. But that is it, I'm fearful of being judged as poor at dancing, lacking in grace and ability, but is this not a reasonable, and rational fear? Don't we all, in some sense or another fear being judged? I believe for most that it is in fact a fear of being judged while speaking. Regardless of its actual prevalence  or perceived prevalence, I still have acted upon it, and will act upon it, for I have vowed to combat this whenever possible.

COLD!!! or why winter is alright by me.

So its really cold around here. Of course there are colder places, yet, its still pretty darn cold. Regardless, snow is something that I find extraordinarily beautiful. But Cold. Like really cold. The type of terribly cold where you truly aren't sure if your face really does belong to you head, and hand function most deffinately does not include texting. Yup, that type of cold. And well. I have a lot of walking to do to get from one side of campus to the other. I am lucky that they all aren't on opposing ends of the University, yet, they are by no means close. Yup, classes, that cool. But despite this horrible bitter face freezing cold there are several redeeming factors. B's List of winter amazingness

1. Scarfs-Yea, scarfs. They are amazing. Quite literally  I would be dead without my scarfs. One, pale blue and grey, or gray, whatever, is lovely, and white and sort of plaid or white and grey, and all are loved dearly. Oh yes, you are indeed hearing a man tell of the delight found within a simple piece of cloth. Yea, its frighteningly simple, its just cloth wrapped around your face and neck, but that little bit brings such great warmth. I love scarfs. Deal with it.

2. Cafes- Ignoring the status as hipster, cafes are fantastic, especially in winter. Cafes have good things, and by that, I mean yummy delisiousness. And Coffee. Cafes have Coffee! Yea. Enough said about that.


Not enough was said about that. Coffee, in all its numerous and fantastic varieties, are (most often) hot. Hot is good in winter. Little known fact, drinking a potion of warmth will absorb the first 4d6 cold damage. The effects last 1d4+2 minutes, or until the full 4d6 cold damage is absorbed. It is by the miracle of this delightful potion that I still have my life. I will ignore the delightfulness of its actual taste.

3. Snow- snow is beautiful. Simple as that! Ignoring the horrible discomfort caused by its bitter coldness, I do indeed love it, dearly. It is perhaps one of the most beautiful things that I have seen in my short and uneventful life. The area in which I live, is known for its natural beauty. Its like Canada, but less cold. Still, the way that snow falls so gently, yet is so powerful is something that I find awesome. Maybe it is, and I'm pretty sure it is, but that is just how it seems to me. I love it so very much, and cannot imagine my winters without it.

4. Money- As heartless as it seems money is necessary for things like living, and cafes. I love cafes. And with the beautiful snow, comes beautiful snow removal. It feels heartless and like a betrayal of my morals, yet  money.

Thus is my list of winter things that are good. Yup! Winter. That happens.

The Man in the Grey Coat, or Why the Scarf is amazing, and ought to be employed more often

So, how 'bout that weather huh? Yes, I am bold enough to do that, so sue me.

Wait, please don't.  Already don't have money.

Awesome segue aside, it is cold, and Maria and I find this disagreeable. Very disagreeable. Out come our warmest winter jackets. For me, its also the addition to my wardrobe of the brilliant and truly fantastic invention of warmth: The Scarf.

Yes! one of mans greatest inventions, a mere strip of cloth, wrapped around the neck in a pleasing, both aesthetically  and practically manor. Aesthetically in that a scarf can indeed be used in a purely fashionable sense (oh you say? a man who states correctly the uses of scarfs you say? Yes! I say!), practically in that there are major blood vessels in your neck, close to the surface, and warming those help to regulate the overall body temperature, as well as helping to keep the brain at its optimal temperature.

Fantastic cloth aside though, the cold is a terrible time, for me, and for the readers of this blog. My Grey Coat just isn't warm enough to drop to negative temperatures. I can't. The lowest I go is about 2-4 centigrade. I just can't go any lower, no matter the number of layers, or the delightfullness of my scarf. So, as the days get colder, I am forced to employ warmer coats, and my Grey Coat will be employed less and less. Yes, I know dear reader, that it is indeed a terrible thing, but I must, for I cannot be cold. I don't do well with cold. I makes me miserable. Awfully miserable, and my total delightfulness goes don't, and we don't want that now do we? Yes, I am hanging it up, and joining the hundreds, even thousands of people wearing pea-coats  I'm terribly sorry dearest readers, but I must.

Time Management, or why I probably won't be doing a lot of sleeping in my life, ever.

So joy, it happens a lot. That's really good you know? as is what knowing what makes one happy. So yea, I've learned what I like. There's a lot, and I've come to a conclusion. I'll tell you after this:

My interests!

Books! I love books, and I have a long list of books. Its good to know what is a good book is to you. For me, I am fond of the Gothic styles of literature, from Britain. The particularly verbose nature of the literature strikes me as agreeable, for my own writing, when not in such a casual instance such as this, is frighteningly verbose. So yea, books, there are a lot, my list of books, not in order, of books that I need to read, mind you not all of them are Gothic, but all of them I believe that I'll like

War and Peace
The Brothers Kamarzov
Alice in Wonderland
The Metamrophoses - ovid
Vergils the Aeneid
The Oddasy and the Illiad -Homer
The wroks of Plato
The Colllected works of Aristotle
The Picture of Dorian Grey
Moby Dick
Bartelby the Scribner
The invisable Man
The island of Dr. Merow
The Time machine
The Prince
Mrs Dalloway
The Geasnies
Beowolf
Canterbuy Tales
Game of Thrones series (minus the first)
The Jungle
Pride and Prejudice
Sense and Sensibility

Authors I'm suppose to read:
Eurodroa Welty
Faulkner

Subjects I'm interested in reading more about:
History of Europe, Russia,
Russian culture
Chinese culture, and history
Greek Philosophy
Indian philosophy
Governmental ideology (creation of governments)
Theology

Mind you this isn't a comprehensive list, merely a brief over view, I've missed some.

Video games offer new and fantastic worlds to gamer (yes, both definitions of the word fantastic, oh yes there are two, deal with it), and allows someone to very much leave this world and inter another. One can easily be lost in the world of a game, solving puzzles, slaying dragons, saving princesses, being intergelactic bad-asses  or Batman, the world enthralls the gamer, and its beautiful, just as books are. Here is my list of games that I am playing, or need to play.

Videos Games:
Metriod Prime for the Wii
Epic Mickey for the Wii, yea, I have one
Bioshock
Bioshock 2
Bioshock Inifinte
Oblivion
Skyrim
Batman Arkam city
Batman Arkam asylum
Borderlands
Borderlands 2
SuperMario Brothers 3 (I need to beat that game)
Deus Ex Human Revolutions
Dishonored
Portal
Portal2
Halflife 1
Halflife2
Brawl
Mirrors edge
Metal Gear Solid series
Halo 3,4, Reach, and ODST
Left for Dead 1-2
Legend of Zelda series

There are more, so again, a mere brief over view.

There are many things that I love, and below are a list of things that I love, but most, except for mosaicing, I am terrible at, however, I love the puzzle of it, especially since I don't ask for help on these things. I have to figure it out myself, and well, I'm not a terribly clever person when it comes to these sorts of things. Still though, my list of interesting things that I like.

Personal interests:
Tinkering
electrical systems
Radios
clocks
Mosaics
glass, in general
running


So yea, there is a lot on my plate in terms of things to do when I don't have something more important to do, like college. You know, that thing that happens, all the time. Yea that. When thats gone, I have some 59 listen things to occupy my time. Yea. That's sort of a lot. Like a lot a lot,  and I've come to this conclusion, one interest per week! Its brilliant! That way, I can keep everything current, and I won't get bored with it, because I won't have that much time to do it . Also, as I make cycles, the same article from each group will be reused until completed, that way I finish books, instead of having 20 some odd books being read at the same time. This week is literature, next week, video games, and the week after that, i believe I shall tinker some in my basement. But finally, an organized way to achieve everything that I'd like to.

The story of an Island, or Hey where'd my tea go and why is it so dark?

Dearest readers, I'm sorry, I got lazy.

But at least I'm honest yea?

So today, I come to you from my heart, and a story. I have had a wonderful weekend, thanks, for asking, and while Its been truly fantastic, it must come to a close. It was amazing, like a haven in a world fraught with chaos and disorder, I find that there is a place where I can go, where my heart is at peace, and glows with a good light. I smile more, and feel better, even while writing my rather lengthy essay. But through it, I've come to realize several things, several rather heavy things.

We all need this thing, an escape, a haven in which everything is yours. Happiness preserves the mental faculties, and especially in college, there is a need to expand ones mental faculties, as we are pushed far outside our range of previously known knowledge. Its is at this internal oasis that we find rest a peace, and the means to continue. And that's just brilliant. What isn't is that I am just now discovering where mine is. The previous 18 years of my life have been without the need for one, or rather, up until recently there was no need for one, and so these lessons or preservation of humanity and cognition are new to me. Added still that they are filled with extra turmoil, and I struggle with even finding my haven, and being able to get to it, as it isn't within me, but a physical place, away from my home. So there's that.

Which brings me to that fact that my comfort zone, for college, is rather small, and that's not uncharacteristic, what is however is its size. For its precisely the same as high school, and there it was rather small as well. I was never one to be adventurous, although, yes, I have adventures (both IRL, and DnD), they are always.... tame (although I doubt some would disagree). Pardon my digression, but I'm unchanged, while my surroundings have changed. This goes back to the haven idea presented above, and that there I have arrived rather unfashionably late to this idea of getting out of ones comfortable bits, and into something new.
'Haven't made a friend in college yet.
Yup, there's that.

But I find myself struggling, with college-y things, and a great deal of other things, and its nice to know now where my haven is. Its still difficult, but I can escape for once, and despite masculinity driven stereotypes for my sex and gender, I still love a cup of hot to scolding tea, and a book. Or perhaps a 360 controller. Either one is good with me. Both alone or with friends, both online, or IRL, or neither, that, that is my joy, my new escape involves more processing power than a desktop, and better graphics than a IMAX movie, and while I love it, it probably won't make me friends outside the ones that I have now, so we are left with an interesting dilemma, to continue the just newly found comfort zone, one that is truly necessary at times, or not to, and force a new one involving being social with humans? A difficult quandary to be sure, a quagmire if you will, yes, my struggles with it are only beginning. Damn.

Look to the stars.

So sorry, I'm not writing about movies. I lied. Oops. It was unintential, however, I find this to hopefully be interesting.

Right, so I was at my brothers house, which is 12 miles away from my own, and while I live in town, he lives in the "Boonies." While I might be pretty darn city boy, I do love it there. Its a natural type of beauty that can only be found here in Pennsylvania. Its truly amazing, not just during the day, but at night too.

Why you ask?

Well, at night there are thousands of more stars when the sky is clear, than there are in the town that I live in. Thousands, maybe tens or hundreds of thousands of more stars, lighting the sky like millions of tiny candles, far away. Its a truly spectacular view. Its so clear there that the Milky way Galaxy is visible  and stars and planets are visible to the naked eye. I was struck by this rather profoundly while driving home. Even a mere 4 miles from his house, the number of stars had decreased significantly, and the lights from the houses and buildings all across the town lit up the sky, obscuring so many of the beautiful balls of fiery gasses (burning at 3000-50000 Degrees Kelvin).  It made me sad, but also drew up a lovely contrast. The observatory at my college is called Davey Laboratories, and is located at the heart of campus, which is in the heart of the town in which I live. There, on a clear night, you can't see jack-shit, while with the naked eye at my brothers house you can see so much more. Even a simple telescope would bring great things to the eye piece for you. It was amazing. really.

But driving home, I dreamed something really interesting. I've always wanted to be a pilot, and while I'm not going to school for that, I do still plan in my future to find a way to learn how to fly aeroplanes. It occurred to me, while difficult to impossible my dream may be, I believe that it would beyond spectacular to fly, with a telescope and a clear fuselage (the outside bit that is smooth. It hold everything inside). Fly around at night, thousands of feet in the air, far away from the lights that would distort the view, and above the clouds, the view would be completely different, and even more stars could be seen than in the boonies even. I just thought that would be interesting, and I'd share my thoughts with you. You know, because its a blog ans stuff.

Ticky-Tacky

So I also promised that I would post about my life, just as many of you have done. So here goes:

So School. Yea, that happens, to most everyone really. It becomes a near expectation that one will go to College, and do well, coming out full of ticky-tacky and look all the same. Obscure reference aside, it does seem to take up most of the day, and a good bit of the night as well, to the point where I wonder if I have become defined by my schooling. I'm an English Major, how about you? Oh, I'm a Virgo. Same difference yea?

Still though, I know that at the end of the day, I get to go home to my own bed, which is large, and quite comfortable, just in case you were wondering, and sleep to my hearts content. That's a lot better than most people, so I shouldn't complain, yet, here I am. It might be that most days I don't get to see my friends, yet, that too is better than most, I don't have to make new friends, I get to keep a great deal of my old ones. Its pretty great really, yet, the idea of extra time still eludes me, so it seems.

On another note, with what little free time that I have, that is, that which is not taken up by my niece and nephew, who I shall talk about in later posts, I'm writing this blog, and ones like it on the Rockethics site, and getting ready for Halloween, and playing Skyrim (but that conversation is long over, so I won't). Halloween, when the actor comes out to play, and one is able to take on a new persona. Jenna Marbles says something to this same effect, but about Halloween sluts. That's cool. You can look up her video yourself. Nonetheless, because I love transitions and segues, Halloween is coming, and that is exiting. Each costume is an extension of the person wearing it. Dressing up shows a different side that is most often hidden, or ignored, allowing the person to be vulnerable, or perhaps, merely more expressive. Again with Jenna Marbles and the Halloween sluts. She's everywhere.

No, there is no moral story, and no meaning, just some ramblings that I subjected you to. Smile, you read this willingly. Brilliant yea?

So yea, a little less formal. Next posts will be about movies again.

Till then!