Dancing, or how I nearly died tonight

On my walk back from my after classes activities to my car (parked in the FIRST GODDAMN SPACE [and this would be the introduction of the chorus to tell of my impending lesson in hubris]), through a terrifying fog I came to an interesting realization that I am comfortable enough to share with you.

But first the story of how I nearly died on this night.

Yea, its more interesting than introspection. Firstly it was a dark and foggy night. FOGGY, don't auto-fill in stormy. That aside, really, the fog was palpable, it was terrifying. It muffled the sound of all walking. Cars were reduced to nothing more than small points of light, even from a mere 10 feet away, or so. This was what it was like the whole, not un-substantial walk back to my car to go home, and well it scared the begeebees out of me. Really. And I'm a guy, a really attractive, charming, awe inspiring guy. I started singing to myself, and that help for a while, but I had to stop once I reached a more populated area, because I didn't want to seem crazy, or what ever. So in silence I walked most of the way back. All was fine and dandy for a while till I had to cross the inlet for a parking lot. Okay, doesn't sound bad.

WRONG.

There was a car waiting there. Headlights on. Just sitting.
I'm a rational person, so I keep walking, thinking to myself "Hey, hes probably just waiting for someone, I'll walk in front of this parked car, and come out alive on the other side,: and that was a good thought, for the time being. But without any further information, I proceeded with my plan.

I walked in front of the car.

Bid mistake. The instant that I started into the crosswalk, because yeah, I use those, IT STARTED MOVED TOWARDS ME!!!! I nearly died. Images of the anger of Christine flashed through my mind, and my life flashed before my eyes. Luckily I ran, and the fog was enough to obscure me from its villainous sight. And that is how I nearly died on this very night.

Now for my interesting realization, that might be a little controversial. So I don't like learning a dance with my friends. Yup, said it. Its really awkward, but yup. I was at swing today, and realized that my ineptitude was due not in fact by an physical inability to complete a simple task, but by a blinding, and immobilizing fear of being judged as I learn something new. I realized this, of course, because half the people there know me from years ago, and I usually go with one of my friends. Now you may think, hey, I learned X dance with you, and yes, yes you did, but I still felt awkward while doing so. This feeling is merely heightened by swing dance, and all the humans there knowing me, and thus, my ineptitude. This bled so far into my thoughts and idologies pertaining to swing dancing, and dancing in general that I began to hate swing for a while in my life. That and there was a person who wasn't the kindest teaching, and it was sort of a mess. But that is it, I'm fearful of being judged as poor at dancing, lacking in grace and ability, but is this not a reasonable, and rational fear? Don't we all, in some sense or another fear being judged? I believe for most that it is in fact a fear of being judged while speaking. Regardless of its actual prevalence  or perceived prevalence, I still have acted upon it, and will act upon it, for I have vowed to combat this whenever possible.